Confessions from a Real Teen Mom: 3 Truths You Need to Hear

May is Teen Pregnancy Month. This hits home for me, because a little over a decade ago, I gave birth to my precious daughter and I became a single, teen mom.  The statistics on teen pregnancy in the United States are staggering.  According to DoSomething.org, 3/10 American girls will get pregnant before the age of 20. Even though that number is slowly on the decline, that still means there are a ton of teen moms in this country. Becoming a teen mom was such a hard, isolated season, so there are just a few things that I believe that every teen mom should hear to encourage her heart.

1. Being a teen mom isn’t glamorous.  Point. Blank. PERIOD.

In case you haven’t noticed, popular culture glamorizes teen pregnancy. Reality TV shows follow teen moms driving around in Range Rovers, going on fancy vacations, and buying houses. The kicker is that, for some of these girls, this is all happening before they can even legally drive a car. As a teen mom your life will not look as glamorous as it does on TV and that is okay!

Real life is not a reality tv show and if I’m being honest, becoming a teen mom can be an exhausting place.  Once I found out I was pregnant in high school EVERYTHING changed.  I had the choice of a full academic ride to multiple schools, a 4.0 GPA, and had been preparing and looking forward to college and my future for years. And in the moment I found out I was pregnant, it felt like everything I had worked so hard to build would come crashing down.  

Thankfully I was wrong— even though my world wasn’t going to end, everything WOULD change.  And it definitely didn’t look as glamorous as it is made out to be on TV.  I made drastic decisions about what life/school would look like for me and my new baby on the way.  I got the joy of watching my friends pack and move away to their dream colleges, while I clocked as many hours as I could at my new job and came home to study for exams into the wee hours of the morning.  While other kids my age spent their summers taking amazing senior trips, I was pulling 40 hour workweeks making minimum wage and looking up pediatrician recommendations.

It wasn’t easy or glamorous, and most days just felt downright hard. But I was determined to be the best mom that I could be. I was literally living out the consequences of my past choices in the most teachable way.  And to be honest, looking back, I learned so much even from those early days that I would NEVER trade.  Adversity builds character and even as I made many mistakes as a mom, I could still see God’s love for me through it all. 

2. YOU. CAN. DO. THIS.

Can I be real with you for a second? Dear young mama, it is time to take responsibility!  This is YOUR baby!  At the end of the day, even if everyone else leaves you and you feel like you are alone, you get the privilege of pushing through adversity and trial and coming out stronger in the end.  Now can I encourage you in the same breath?  You will never truly be alone because God is always with you! 

 The second half of one of my favorite bible verses (Joshua 1:5 NIV) promises that God will “never leave you nor forsake you.”  What a weighty PROMISE!  I can truly say that God is true to His word and never left me or my daughter.  HE ALWAYS provided!  Even when I felt condemnation or shame (which was NOT FROM GOD) God loved me in spite of it all.  And He loves you too.  The WHOLE you, even the parts you are afraid to show to the world. Give Him all of you, especially the broken pieces and just watch how He can move.

Trust God and lean on your village.  I truly believe He will give you people along the way who encourage you. My sweet parents were so disappointed when I found out I was pregnant, if I’m 100% honest.  But despite that, they loved me so fiercely and encouraged me to keep pushing. I remember talking to my dad one day feeling defeated and telling him that I was considering declaring a different college major to just “get done faster” and he looked me in my eye and told me something I will never forget.  He said, “Why? Who told you that you couldn’t do this?”  And he was so right.  

Here I am, speaking straight to your heart, sister:  You can do this!  Lean on God and the people who love you when you feel weak. Know that you are STRONG and can do this thing!

3. Motherhood is one of the most sacred journeys you will ever undertake.

Embrace it, step up to the plate, and do this thing!  My daughter was born 2 months into my freshman year of college, during midterm week, when I was 18.  Sometimes I still cannot believe that I have been a parent my entire adult life. My world was rocked in the best way. I grew up and “woman’d” up in ways I never thought were possible.  I am now married to my college sweetheart (the most amazing man I have ever met and best daddy to our kiddos) and that baby I was so scared to raise is now a beautiful 10 year old little lady. Now we also have two little boys, a 2 year old and 9 month old.  One day you will look and your baby will be a teenager!  Soak up every moment of this journey.  

I am so grateful to be a mom!  Ten years ago, I could have never imagined how deep my love would be for my daughter and my sons.  Have there been hard times, when pain let my mind drift away to the way things could have been?  If I said no, I would be lying.  But the truth is, there is no place I’d rather be than here, being a mama to these precious gifts from God.  I love the saying that “It’s not how you start, but how you finish.”  Nothing could be truer in the journey of motherhood, especially as a teen mom.  Finish strong sweet girl, and know that God’s got you and you can do this mommin’ thing! I believe in YOU!

If this post speaks to you, teen mom or not, would you share it with me?  Let me know in the comments below!

Love, Krystin